Self confidence is a general and realistic belief in one’s own
abilities. Self confident people trust in their own ability to achieve
goals that they plan and set out to achieve. This belief needs to be
realistic. Self confidence does not mean that an individual can achieve
anything and everything, even absurd goals. It simply means that the
person will have a sense of control over his own destiny, a positive
frame of mind and is likely to make the best use of his talents and
skills in achieving positive outcomes.
Achieving self confidence is a fine balance. Lack of self confidence
or under-confidence will result in an individual doubting his
abilities. Such people seek the approval of others for reassurance.
They believe they have to conform to the expectations of others to fit
in and be accepted. They will tend to avoid taking risks for fear of
failure. They expect to fail and this becomes a self-fulfilling
prophecy!
Under-confident people tend to under-achieve since they have a low
estimation of their abilities and therefore will not push their
boundaries to achieve their best. They also tend to play down their
abilities and are often uncomfortable dealing with compliments -
usually discounting them.
On the other hand over confidence is not desirable either, as such
individuals may tend to have unrealistically high expectations and
beliefs in their abilities and therefore take unwarranted risks.
Self confidence is not necessarily all-pervasive. An individual who
is completely comfortable and confident in one area of activity, say
his work or profession may lack confidence in other areas such as
social situations.
What factors contribute to lack of confidence?
Lack of confidence is often the result of unrealistic expectations.
Constantly aiming for perfection is a certain recipe for failure which
reinforces feelings of inadequacy. Children who grow up in excessively
protective environments and are not allowed to develop their
independence may tend to be less confident than others who are allowed
to develop their own abilities and self reliance. Similarly over
critical and demanding parents may undermine a child’s self
confidence and cause them to continually doubt their abilities even in
adult life.
What steps can be taken to improve self confidence?
Low self esteem and low self confidence are perpetuated by unhelpful
and often destructive thought patterns. Self confidence may be improved
by identifying the offending thinking habits and taking steps to
correct them. For instance seeking acceptance and approval from
everyone may be an unrealistic expectation. The fact is that in day to
day life one will encounter people that will never approve of every
aspect of your life. It is far more beneficial to set personal
standards which are not dependent on the approval of others.
Under confident people are quite often their own worst critics. They
are quick to brand themselves failures at the slightest obstacle. It is
important to remember that even the most successful people encounter
setbacks. What sets them apart is how they deal with that setback and
venture into the future. A setback or failure in the past need not
dictate the course of your entire future.
However, if at the first sign of failure you label yourself a total
failure, chances are that’s exactly what you will be! Evaluate
your expectations - Are they realistic? Don’t be overly critical
of yourself. Refuse to accept the criticisms of others where it is
unrealistic.
Give yourself credit for what you do achieve rather than focussing
solely on the negatives. Resist the temptation to magnify negative
outcomes out of proportion while minimizing positives.
Persons with low self esteem avoid risks and may therefore never
truly find out what they are capable of. Taking calculated risks can
broaden one’s horizons and help to gain greater self awareness
and acceptance.
Evaluate your standards - substitute more reasonable expectations
for perfectionist targets that are bound for failure. Build up to more
challenging targets as your confidence grows.
Self consciousness is a major hurdle to self confidence especially
in social situations. Diverting attention away from yourself can help
to diffuse this situation. This can be achieved by keeping yourself
occupied with other activities or focussing on the purpose of the
social encounter and engaging your mind on furthering that social
purpose. Not having enough to keep your mind occupied is guaranteed to
produce feelings of self consciousness leading to feelings of anxiety,
inadequacy and lack of confidence.
These are just a few steps that may be taken to improve levels of
self confidence. Clearly it is just the tip of a very large iceberg and
the most appropriate measures would of course need to be determined by
individual circumstances.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Distributed by Hasan Shrek, independence blogger. Also run online business , matrix, internet marketing solution , online store script .
Beside he is writing some others blogs for notebook computer , computer training , computer software and personal computer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Technorati Tags: Affiliate Program, Networking , Home Business , Marketing, Online Marketing, Multi Level Marketing
No comments:
Post a Comment